I couldn’t get another word out of jerry after I mentioned my parents. He just sat there with his hands twined together on the Formica tabletop, and all he would say was, “Mmm-mmm, I told you, Nemo, I don’t know.”

That’s the same thing he’s told me my whole life. He has no idea who my parents were, or are. And honestly, I never cared. I didn’t have some kids-movie-injected false sense of a perfect mommy and daddy waiting for me somewhere. I’ve never felt like I lived the wrong life. Even though I don’t really have many friends, and Jerry is weird, and I guess I’m kind of weird, I’ve always felt like I was where I was supposed to be.

This is all to explain why I’d never pressed the issue of my real parents with Jerry. I just felt, suddenly, like they must have played a part in all this. Maybe they were even in prison for something they did to JoyTech!

But even now, I gave up on bugging Jerry pretty quick. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know. Aurora did this whole thing last year where she trekked halfway across the world to meet her real mother. It was…really disappointing for her. Sometimes people have good reasons for giving up on their kids.

On the upside, she had a great time traveling and came back with all these politics and causes she wanted to crusade for.

Which is how I got involved in running around in a mask at night trying to save the world from evil corporations. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done to try to prove that I’m the one Aurora should be with. Not because I was coerced into it by Jerry and his gang of old farts.

Me. The ultimate weapon against JoyTech? I couldn’t get that line out of my head, it was so kookoo. I couldn’t go a week without getting shook down by the giggling man, injured at the plant, or burned by New Guy, who turns out to be the latest in the long, noble line that is the JoyTech dynasty.

I was definitely feeling attacked from all angles. What could I do? What did great superheroes do if they were being overwhelmed by the opposition? I guess it depends on if they’re traditional heroes, or antiheroes. Do I identify more with Superman or Batman?
Hmm. That’s a tough one. Yeah right.

If I was Batman, this is the part where I would go out and knock down all my enemies one by one until Gotham was safe again.

I think I’ve mentioned once or twice that me and Jerry don’t talk much. About important stuff, I mean. If it wasn’t for Aurora, I’d probably have spent my whole life thinking that people just didn’t talk about how they felt, what they dreamed, or the past.

But I couldn’t let things go on like that anymore. Guys that I’d known my whole life, who were like brothers to Jerry, had just treated me like I was their enemy. They’d clearly had some kind of plan for me. Something involving JoyTech. And at the last minute, Jerry had put a stop to it.

But Jack had acted like it almost wasn’t up to Jerry to decide what happened to me.

WTF?

I needed to know what these guys had to do with JoyTech, so the next morning, I confronted the man who, for all intents and purposes, is basically my father.

At first, he tried to act like it had been just the usual drunken blustering, but I wasn’t going to be deterred so easily.

“They wanted to know about JoyTech, Jerry! Why would they ask me about that?”

“Aw, well, y’know, kid. I couldn’t just tell them nothing when you started all your sneaking around…”

“So they know I’ve been trying to bring down JoyTech?” I shook my head. “But so what? They’ve been watching my every move? What did I do to piss them off?” I couldn’t believe how many people seemed to have their eyes on me these days.

Jerry slumped down onto a kitchen chair. The cracked vinyl protested under his weight. “I guess it doesn’t matter much now,” he said after a long pause. “But I want you to know, Nemo, that I never thought…I mean, I thought in the end, I hoped, that you’d never be touched by any of this. When JoyTech came to Ring City, I wanted to get out. I wanted to leave, with you! But Jack wasn’t having any of it. He was happy! He saw it as the next chapter in his Book of Destiny.”

I nodded. I’d heard Jack talk about his “Book of Destiny” before. “So back in the 60s, when you guys were into all that radical activism stuff, you were going up against JoyTech.” I’d suspected this, but this was the first time Jerry had confirmed anything. He was nodding. “But what does it have to do with me?”

“Back then, the JoyTech Global Improvement Company wasn’t the feel-good, makes-life-great brand it is today. In the 60s, JoyTech was primarily invested in weapons testing and research. We felt strongly at the time that it was these big corporations that were behind all the wars, and the government was kowtowing to them.

“Me and the guys, we first met at these meeting where people were talking about what could be done. Their ideas were extreme, but at the time, I thought they were the only ones really stepping up.

”What can I say Nemo? We were young. We did some bad stuff. There was this JoyTech HQ in Des Moines…people got hurt. Two people died.

“It wasn’t long before some of us wound up in jail. Others on the run. Jack was one of those that went to prison, and when he got out, he was crazier than ever, and full of new ideas. We listened. We were desperate. By then it was the 80s, and radicalism was a joke. We felt starved for a chance to shake things up again…” Jerry’s shoulder’s drooped, and his head fell into his hands. The next words he spoke were muffled. “When me and…your mom started taking care of you, Jack saw his chance. An opportunity to raise a soldier, Nemo. To create the ultimate weapon against JoyTech.”

I had to snort my derision. “The ultimate weapon? Me, Jerry, seriously? I mean, you guys taught me parkour, but there’s absolutely nothing that makes me so special…”

Suddenly a thought struck me, a thought as absurd as it was obvious.
“Jerry,” I spoke carefully, keeping my voice level. “Jerry, who were my real parents?”

The craziest, worst incident went down last night. And since I’m lying here with a busted foot, I had plenty of time to toon it for you guys. Big thanks to Mrs. Brisby for all the pics!

Because this post is all about me whining, I thought I’d include this tooned baby pic of yours truly. Hope it makes you laugh.

Still haven’t talked to Aurora, and I’m in a super pissed mood because since Saturday there’s been nothing – NOTHING – on the news or anywhere about the recycling in the Blood River.

And remember how yesterday I was saying that Aurora’s mom was being all nice and sorry for me?

Well, I know I’ve hit rock bottom on the pathetic scale because now Jerry’s being like that, too. But I can’t say I really mind because he’s usually such a jerk.

He invited me out before school to watch him and his buddies practice parkour, which he hasn’t done since I quit it.

I used to be really into it when I was a little kid, and I’d always go and practice with them, but when they started to get on me about all this philosophy and crap that goes with it, I got bored and bailed.

I’ve never said much about Jerry here, so I should probably explain about this crazy guy that raised me.

He adopted me when he was really young. He was married to a woman a bit older than him, but she sketched out before I was even one year old.

Jerry says that when he was my age, he was a ‘radical,’ and I get the impression that him and his friends used to be some kind of group that protested nuclear power and that kind of thing. But for years now they’ve been ‘underground’ or ‘outside of the system’ for some reason.

It’s hard to talk to Jerry about stuff because he’s so suspicious and paranoid. And whenever I ask him about himself, he always says “you’re a normal kid,” really loudly, which I don’t know what that means or what it has to do with anything.

He’s been better lately. I thought he’d hate the idea of me being a superhero, but he’s been really cool about it, and even helping with stuff.

I think I might get back into parkour. I think it would be good for the kind of work I’m doing.

And what better way to finish than with a really AWESOME toon of me moping right now!

What did you do this weekend, Nemo?

Oh, not much. Just exposed the corrupt and fraudulent recycling schemes of an evil corporation.

Really? How on EARTH did you accomplish that?

Simple. I returned their garbage to them.

I started on Friday with a vague plan: I was gonna get all the garbage out of the Blood River. Then I was gonna take it back to the JoyTech recycling plant, and leave it in a big pile on their front lawn.

Friday. The plan was to use a tractor borrowed from a friend of Jerry’s to drag the riverbank at the bend where all the trash was accumulating.

Getting the tractor down to the river, though, proved to be a total effin’ disaster.

Now I have to get a part-time job to pay for tractor repair. Like I don’t have my hands full already.

Saturday. Me and Jerry spent all day rigging up this winch system that’s kind of like a mini donkey engine, but runs on biofuel. The idea was to cast a net into the river, and drag out loads of garbage that the donkey would pull up the bank.

But when we went down to scout the best path for the net, we found all these dead fish on the bank that had gotten caught in plastic bags and other junk. And then we realized that we’d be dragging fish out of the river along with the recycling.

I called the operation off, and Jerry got all pissed. He took the donkey and left me to walk home. I tried to ride a sweet bike I found amongst the junk, but it was a bit small. Here’s a tooned-up glamour shot.

Sunday. Faced with the reality that I’m not one of those superheroes with cool technology that solves all my problems. I buy industrial garbage bags. I steal the truck that Jerry’s also been converting over to biofuel. As soon as it gets dark, I head down to the river and I start filling bags.

The bags go in the truck. The truck goes to the recycling plant. The bags get emptied on the front lawn. Long. Slow. Excruciating. But ten hours later, I’ve got a decent pile of garbage. Over my head, like. And as the sun starts to come up this morning, I see that all the tin and plastic and cardboard and other unspeakable junk is streaked, stained with the red mud of the Blood River.

Incriminating much?

(I woulda got this up yesterday but I got Jerry to call me in sick and I slept all day.)

So, I’ve got my costume, and I’ve got Toon-FX for telling my story.

Jerry’s helping me with some other stuff, but it’s still in R & D. He’s the only one who’s going to know my true identity, for now.

As far as my superhero name goes, I have to admit that I’m stuck. Ideas so far:

• The Reductor
• JoyWreck
• The Groundskeeper
• Captain No One
• The Devolver
• Junk-Man
• The Eco-Avenger

Uh, yeah. I hate them. But I was thinking that maybe I could get some help for you guys out there on the interwebs.

What’s the perfect superhero name for a guy trying to stave off the environmental apocalypse, and impress an unimpress-able girl?

On my blog, Becky already recommended EnvIronMan. Thoughts?

And yes, I know who Captain Planet is, so you can save the hilarious Planeteers jokes.

I started this blog to talk to somebody, because Jerry says he is officially sick of hearing about Jericho, Aurora, the end of the world, and all the things I won’t shut up about, but that I won’t do anything about.

FYI: Jerry is kind of like my dad, I guess. He adopted me when I was a baby, but he doesn’t really act like any other parents I know.

For example: Jerry says that when it comes, the apocalypse will be environmental, and it will be caused by the industries that sucked all the planet’s resources, and the technology that never did anything to stop it. Which basically means the world will end because of greed and because of bad businesses like the JoyTech Global Improvement Co., and not because of wars.

Jerry’s really pissed that they built a JoyTech plant in the center of the conurbation area. They did a presentation at school talking about all the great stuff that they’re going to do for Ring City, like create jobs and start recycling programs, but Aurora said there was something weird about the people that gave the presentation. They smiled too much, and they didn’t take any questions.