FYI - All images are pics I took, then made into cartoons with Toon-FX. They’ve got some cool free stuff on their website you should check out!

I went to bed last night depressed and thinking it was all for nothing. The story of the mess in the river came to nothing. I was going to have to start all over again. Then I woke up to Jerry screaming at me to come see the early news.

Turns out someone – a nameless informant – came forward and linked the dumped recycling directly to JoyTech!

Woot! Who’s your daddy?

It’s me, JoyWreck. I’m your daddy.

As if it wasn’t so obvious, but with this guy or whoever coming out and saying that he drove one of the dumping trucks, no one can deny it any more!

At least the media can’t. JoyTech certainly can. They released an official statement today saying they had no idea what was going on at the recycling plant.

They claim to have hired outside contractors who were trying to cut corners, and that this ‘tragedy’ was “completely outside the scope of their awareness until today.”

Yeah right. That’s the same thing they said about the whole water treatment scandal in 2006, AND about the huge waste management lawsuit against them in 2002.

Hey Global Improvement Company, maybe it’s time to stop hiring those “outside contractors.”

Anyway, obviously things aren’t so friendly between JoyTech and the Conurban Council now, because the Council made a special announcement on the news tonight that they’re putting together their own group of independent overseers to “monitor standards compliance” at the recycling center for the foreseeable future.

I have to admit that I was hoping for something a bit more spectacular, something along the lines of the entire company crumbling to dust and blowing away on a puff of breeze. But I’ll settle for SO BUSTED.

Not in my city, JoyTech. I’m watching you.

What did you do this weekend, Nemo?

Oh, not much. Just exposed the corrupt and fraudulent recycling schemes of an evil corporation.

Really? How on EARTH did you accomplish that?

Simple. I returned their garbage to them.

I started on Friday with a vague plan: I was gonna get all the garbage out of the Blood River. Then I was gonna take it back to the JoyTech recycling plant, and leave it in a big pile on their front lawn.

Friday. The plan was to use a tractor borrowed from a friend of Jerry’s to drag the riverbank at the bend where all the trash was accumulating.

Getting the tractor down to the river, though, proved to be a total effin’ disaster.

Now I have to get a part-time job to pay for tractor repair. Like I don’t have my hands full already.

Saturday. Me and Jerry spent all day rigging up this winch system that’s kind of like a mini donkey engine, but runs on biofuel. The idea was to cast a net into the river, and drag out loads of garbage that the donkey would pull up the bank.

But when we went down to scout the best path for the net, we found all these dead fish on the bank that had gotten caught in plastic bags and other junk. And then we realized that we’d be dragging fish out of the river along with the recycling.

I called the operation off, and Jerry got all pissed. He took the donkey and left me to walk home. I tried to ride a sweet bike I found amongst the junk, but it was a bit small. Here’s a tooned-up glamour shot.

Sunday. Faced with the reality that I’m not one of those superheroes with cool technology that solves all my problems. I buy industrial garbage bags. I steal the truck that Jerry’s also been converting over to biofuel. As soon as it gets dark, I head down to the river and I start filling bags.

The bags go in the truck. The truck goes to the recycling plant. The bags get emptied on the front lawn. Long. Slow. Excruciating. But ten hours later, I’ve got a decent pile of garbage. Over my head, like. And as the sun starts to come up this morning, I see that all the tin and plastic and cardboard and other unspeakable junk is streaked, stained with the red mud of the Blood River.

Incriminating much?

(I woulda got this up yesterday but I got Jerry to call me in sick and I slept all day.)